The Reality Ranch

WTF Wednesday

2009-06-03T23:40:00.003-05:00

Yes - that is a rocking toilet....WTF!!

WTF Wednesday

2009-05-28T17:21:00.001-05:00

I have no words to describe this!

Saturday Funny!

2009-05-16T12:54:00.001-05:00

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

After wards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."

Alive and kicking

2009-05-12T11:38:00.003-05:00

Just a brief post to let my 2 readers know I'm still alive. I'm in the process of writing up a post explaining the past several months but for obvious reasons it's taking a while.

I'll give a brief overview and then explain in more detail in another post:

My Grandfather died
My husband was shipped off to Okla-fuckin-homa
I had a nervous breakdown
I found out I had cancer
I had several surgeries and a lot of unpaid time off work
I am still recovering from the financial burden

Thank Jeebus that's all in the past!! I am hoping to start up my WTF Wednesday posts again too very soon.

Please let this be the last

2008-11-26T17:42:00.002-06:00

For many reasons, I have not posted in a long while. I have had many things to deal with that have taken every ounce of my being just to keep moving day to day.

I've been doing OK trying to keep up but today I felt as if a noose took a hold of me....something so rare that even the doctors don't know how they are going to treat it.

Thanks for listening.

Dear Wil and Red

2008-10-02T22:25:00.001-05:00

I just want to say.....

I

AM

SO

SORRY!!!

He's simply unstoppable.....

Its been a long and hard decision...

2008-09-23T18:07:00.004-05:00

but I have finally decided who I am voting for....Walter for President.

Blogcrawl 2008

2008-09-20T19:43:00.002-05:00

woo hoo!! I found if I don't take my pain meds, I can still drink!

Happy Blogcrawl 2008!!!

Ouuuuuuuuuch

2008-09-20T09:14:00.002-05:00

I realized I forgot to mention something - I had surgery yesterday.

But really, it's no big deal.

2 years ago I found a lump on my shoulder which I had removed. 2 months ago, I noticed the lump was back. This time when I went to the doctor he was a bit concerned - it had grown in size, changed color and become painful in less than a month.

Had it removed for a second time yesterday. I now have an incision that is about 6 inches long and 1/2 inch deep along with about 60 stitches. I hurt a bit today, but the darvocet takes the edge off, which is good enough for me.

Hopefully he got it all this time.

Huh, wha....where am I?

2008-09-18T17:53:00.002-05:00

I have no idea where I've been or what's happened for the past month....it's all been a big blur, but I remember a few things:

wake up
make and serve breakfast
make lunches
take youngest to school
go to work
work
take lunch from work to pick up youngest from school
take youngest to babysitters
go back to work
work
go pick up youngest
run errands
go home
feed kids
fight with kids
put kids to bed
pass out
start over

I am so glad my husband finally came home!!

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-27T19:29:00.002-05:00

China really was ready for the influx of English speaking tourists during the Olympics!

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-20T17:08:00.001-05:00

This is OBVIOUSLY a big issue, perhaps we should start a support group.

Galesburg

2008-08-19T17:01:00.002-05:00

What a fantastic weekend! 1756 was a good year!

Full of bachelorette parties, pole dancing, star gazing, fire eating and Swedish chefs!

Once I manage to download all the pictures I'll share a few.

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-13T20:28:00.001-05:00

No really....read it again!

h/t Shadoglare

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-06T18:57:00.002-05:00

I....I.....I'm so confused!

The song is REAL

2008-07-28T19:19:00.000-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head all day!

Update

2008-07-24T18:16:00.000-05:00

There will be no funeral. Apparently my Grandfather, always the one to stir the pot, decided before his death that the would not have a funeral. He wanted a wake 30 days after his death where everyone would get together and have a big party!

My Step-Grandmother managed a compromise and the wake is next Saturday, August 2nd.

Just like Jack to keep everyone on their toes!

UPDATE

His obituary has been posted and gives a brief history of the amazing life he led. If you would like to read it, please click HERE.

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-23T21:09:00.001-05:00

Why do they always have to LIE to us this way?!

He's gone....

2008-07-22T19:09:00.004-05:00

At approximately 4:30 PM this afternoon, my Grandfather passed away at 86 years old.

No additional details at this time.

Take care Grandpa Jack, we love you and miss you:

Something to lighten the mood

2008-07-21T18:43:00.000-05:00

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one
of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought
Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of
tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea,
because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough,
here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him
drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is
the toilet?'

This is going to hurt

2008-07-20T15:54:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, my husband is being sent to Oklahoma for work. We decided to go see a movie last night since it was our last night together.

While sitting in our seats waiting for the movie to start, I noticed my cell phone was going off. I picked it up to see who was calling and noticed it was my Mom.

I froze...

My Mom never calls my cell phone....NEVER, so I knew it couldn't be good.

I didn't answer. Maybe I was being selfish but I knew that answering that call would simply ruin my last night with my husband, and I didn't want to let that happen. I noticed she didn't leave a voice mail, and started to hope that perhaps everything was fine. I did my best to put the missed call out of my mind and enjoy the movie (we saw Dark Knight).

The movie was fantastic and we talked the whole way home about what parts we liked best. I had almost forgotten about my Mom calling....then I saw a message on the answering machine. It was my Mom and she needed me to call.

My Grandfather was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia & congestive heart failure and placed in ICU. They don't expect him to survive long, and he has already established a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). I hope they are wrong....they have been before...

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-16T21:42:00.002-05:00

Wow....

Just wow....

I must be heartless

2008-07-14T12:48:00.002-05:00

I have today off of work, so I'm taking the time to do a few things around the house that I keep putting off and just enjoying my free day overall!

Then I hear a knock at the door.

Standing at the door are two girls, probably between the ages of 7 and 9. One of them is holding what appears to be a donation can.

But they aren't selling anything....

"Hi - we are going door to door collecting money because our Mom and Dad don't have jobs. Could you spare a dollar or two?"

I wasn't exactly sure how to feel.

First I wanted yell that their parents should "GET A JOB". Even with a crappy job market you can still work somewhere, and their parents probably aren't getting unemployment, otherwise they wouldn't need to send their kids door to door to beg for money. Then I realized that yelling at kids probably wasn't the best tactic to take.

Second I was shocked....what kind of parent sends their kids out to beg for money? But perhaps the parent's didn't send them out door to door....maybe the kids were trying to help their Mom and Dad on their own, and this was the only way they could think to do it.

I told them that I do not keep cash around (which is true) and off they went, but I'm still not sure how to feel about this whole situation.

What do you think?

But what if I'm still too lazy?

2008-07-13T21:56:00.002-05:00

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the
average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans
drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be An American.

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-09T21:27:00.002-05:00

Yes....it really does say that.....!